


Future Fathers

by misura



Category: Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Genre: Book: Ethan of Athos, Fatherhood, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-24 23:54:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21108068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: Ethan tries to cope with impending fatherhood.





	Future Fathers

_How can women stand this?_ Ethan sighed, the answer to his question obvious. It had been a rhetorical question, anyway.

_They can stand it because they don't have a choice. Unlike me._

In hindsight, the smart thing to do would have been to go to another Rep Center. _Except that ours is currently the only one with the EQ culture._ An explanation might have been required, which might have proven awkward - _for all of what, half an hour?_

True, Ethan might feel some of his colleagues did not always display the full awareness of their professional responsibilities he might have wished to see, but he was hardly so conceited as to believe himself the only person on Athos capable of doing a proper job giving birth.

Moving the uterine replicator _now_ would be beyond awkward, though. Not impossible, perhaps, but it would require paperwork, consultations, logical, rational reasons.

Ethan could well imagine the questions that would be asked, and his own stammered answers. If he would not ruin his career outright, at the very least he would set it back considerably. _And for what?_

A woman bearing a child ('pregnant', in the medical terminology) carried it with her at all times, the fetus growing inside her body until it was ready to enter the world. (Ethan had read several articles on the process, which sounded messy and rather painful.)

Ethan could, should have chosen to go about the whole thing as any other regular citizen on Athos: make an appointment at the Rep Center of his choice, pick a culture, and return in nine months time to collect his newborn son.

_It's your own fault, really,_ he told himself. _You've seen enough first-time fathers to know what they get like. You should have known what would happen._

Unfortunately, blaming himself did not provide any constructive and immediate solution to the problem.

"Doing fine, isn't he?" Georos' voice interrupted his reveries. A good thing, probably, considering it also reminded him that it was beyond time to go home.

"I - " Ethan wondered how long he had been staring at the readings. _Instead of doing my actual job._ "Yes." Surely if it had been too long, someone would have commented on it. At the very least, if any incidents had occurred requiring his presence, someone would have alerted him.

Georos smiled. "I should tell you, we're all damn proud that you chose to grow him here."

_It had nothing to do with you. It was pure selfish pride._ "He's my son. It goes without saying that I would want the best for him." Ethan tried to soothe his conscience with the fact that it was not, strictly speaking, a lie. Had he given any thought to the team that would provide care to his unborn son during his absence, he was sure that he would have chosen Sevarin's.

Georos nodded, still smiling. "We won't let you down. Trust me, we're all keeping an eye on the little guy as if he were our own."

_He's not._ Ethan closed his eyes, forcing himself to look away from the screen. The new cultures were all doing fine. If the EQ culture was lagging a bit behind in popularity, it was only because it was still so new and relatively unknown. _There's still plenty of time to give Commander Quinn her hundred sons._

_God the Father grant me the strength to survive the next thirty-four weeks so that I may hold my one._

Georos must have read some of his feelings off of his face; he kindly patted Ethan's shoulder. "Time to go home and see if that good-looking D.A. of yours has learned how to cook yet."

"At least women have the excuse of all sorts of chemicals and hormones coursing through their bodies, to say nothing of their having the actual fetus right there in front of them." Ethan sighed. "I don't. My body chemistry is perfectly normal."

"You're going to be a father," said Terrence. His cooking _had_ improved, as was only to be expected, given the fact that before, it had simply been a skill his keepers had judged unnecessary.

When Terrence had first arrived on Athos, the list of such skills had been appallingly lengthy.

Ethan had taken a certain pride in assisting him to shorten it as quickly and economically as possible. Even if Terrence might not wish to become a D.A., it still never hurt to have some social duty credits saved up - such as were rewarded for participating in projects that also offered on-the-job training.

"So are you, but I don't see you losing all sense of propriety and reason," said Ethan.

Terrence smiled. "That's because you can't read my mind."

"Oh." Perversely, Ethan felt both relieved and disappointed. "Well, but you've passed all the tests, didn't you? With flying colors, even. Your teachers were all very impressed." No need to add that some of them had adjusted their expectations based on Terrence's not being Athosian by birth.

Ethan's own scores had been decidedly average, considering the advantages his background and job had given him. He'd barely made the top ten percentage.

"There's a vast gap between theory and practice," said Terrence.

"Well, yes, there's an emotional component, of course," Ethan acknowledged. "Still - "

"You're doing fine. You're too responsible to lose sight of your other duties. A few minutes lost in reverie here and there aren't going to do any harm. That's why the Reproduction Center is equipped with all the latest technology: to limit the need for constant human attention."

Based on his latest classified reading material, Ethan might quibble with that last assessment.

"Too responsible, huh?" He knew Terrence had intended it as a compliment. Still, it reminded him of Janos.

_I hope he and Nick are very happy, wherever they are._ He wondered if Janos would ever experience the joy of fatherhood. _He didn't seem particularly interested the last time I saw him, but then, people change._

_God the Father knows _I_ have._ Ethan was still fond enough of Janos, he supposed, but the thought of having Janos as his D.A. seemed impossible.

"Responsible and fun aren't mutually exclusive," said Terrence.

"Thank you." Ethan managed a smile.

"You need to relax a little."

"Well, I'm certainly open to suggestions on how to do that," said Ethan, his smile growing more genuine. "Although I would stipulate that I'm not the only one in need of some relaxation."

"Noted," said Terrence. "Luckily, I know just the thing."

"As long as it's not doing the dishes, I'm up for anything."

Terrence sighed. "I suppose it would be irresponsible to leave them until later."

"Well, this one time, I believe I can live with being irresponsible."


End file.
